Following on from my last post about writer’s block, I got caught up writing about Flash I thought if I carried on it would have been two long winded. I explained why I hadn’t written but the truth is I have been writing but anything I have written lately shows my vulnerability and unleashes something I didn’t know I had.
It is different to what I normally write, and for this reason I feel uncomfortable and a little afraid to share it. I need to gain more self-confidence and believe that maybe it is good. Someone told me that it doesn’t matter, you should just share your voice. I think I need to find the confidence to do this so I am going to try here.
After Flash died, I was pretty devastated and then when the terror attacks in Manchester happened, I was in shock. It happens everywhere in the world but when it happens at your home, it brings a different type of pain. It brings anger, sadness, and fear. I love Manchester and one of the reasons other than it being my hometown was because I was safe here. But recently with the attacks in London, it feels like the place I felt safe is no longer as safe. We live in a bubble, and they popped our bubble and have made us feel as vulnerable as everyone. I wrote this after the attacks in Manchester, it may not be very good but I am trying to start something new. So here goes:
It was a rare day.
And not because the sun was shining.
The sun shone high and bright over the city
Yet it could not black out the darkness that was looming.
When it is so close, it shocks
It brings a different kind of pain
A pain that leaves a mark
A mark that will be there until the end
We smile and laugh knowing it is the only way to move forward
Then we are reminded, and it all returns
The misery, the suffering, the fear, the anger
It all rushes back
We were rocked but we cannot let it defeat us
Hate, the destroyer
Turns the smallest ray of light into darkness
It is destructive
There is little love in the world
And we must let it grow
We must let it fill our hearts
There is no room for hate
There is no time
Sania 
We all lose people that mean so much to us. Never can we compensate for their absence but there is a whisp of serentity to be gained from contemplating that fate would never have allowed us to spend a moment more than what it did with them. As cruel as it may seem to us, our lives are but chasms of existence in environment we have little or no influence over. This is one of the things that makes me question all conventional religious wisdoms, how can our lives be held to account when we are as much victims of our environments as those we lose, never really free to live, love and discover without prejudice. Its a strange life.
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Didn’t realise the comment was about your pet tortoise ha, probably better to delete it as it slightly lacks relevance. Sorry for your loss, didn’t know how to message you other than to leave a msg.
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You make an excellent point. In terms of religion I think it expects you to control your emotions and to accept any fate given to you by pushing forward, moving on and becoming a good person. The main aspects of religion seem to be testing a person. Thank you. Human or animal, loss can be so hard to deal with but with time you’ll never forget but you learn to accept it. Thank you for your comments, they were greatly appreciated.
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